How to Build your own Sky Fortress and protect it against
the forces of evil
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| How to Build your own Sky Fortress and protect
it against
the forces of evil |
| Step 1: Secure a
foundation |
This is a very important step. When looking for land on which to build
your super-fortress, make sure to pick a place with a lot of trees and
brush. Why? First, because heavily forested land will be cheap because it
is not good farm land. Second, because we are going to need the trees to
build our super fortress. You are going to want to buy at least one
quarter-section of land, this will provide ample room for your
sky-fortress plus should be fairly affordable. For the purpose of this
example, we'll say we spent $15'000 for a quarter section of
bush/forest.
It is also important to note that swamp land is ideal for building
sky-fortresses, as this may eliminate the need for a moat, as described in
Step 4. Building a sky-fortress above a swamp will also make you the envy
of all your friends because you will be living in a swamp and Yoda once
lived in a swamp. However, it should be noted that building a
sky-fortress about a swamp may be particularly challenging, but more
rewarding than building one above land. For the sake of simplicity I am
not going to cover swamp-fortresses in detail here, but I'm sure that you
can elaborate your plans to incorporate all different
environments… |
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| Step
2: Aquiring Building Supplies |
Wood
Building a modern sky-fortress is probably a lot easier than you'd
think. First and formost you are going to need wood, a whole shwack of
wood. Try and find as much scrap wood as possible. The following are good
ways to obtain wood legally and efficiently:
- Dismantle your house. Most houses are built with a wooden
structure, and you're not going to need your house once you have your
sky-fortress anyhow
- Dismantle your friends house. This could be tricky, especially if
he doesn't agree to have his house dismantled. If you assemble a fair
sized team, a house can easily be demolished while your friend is at
work. If your friend later asks where you obtained the large wood supply
for your fortress, tell him you bought it at Home Hardware and provide him
with a forged receipt. There's no way he could argue with that.
- Old barns are an excellent source of wood. Pick a barn that looks
to be abandoned and destroy it. I am not going to cover how to blow up a
barn in detail here, but I'm sure you could figure it out.
There are also many other good ways of obtaining wood, but these have been
proven to be the most effective. Another advantage to these methods is
that they are also a very effective method of obtaining nails, which you
will also need. If you cannot find wood for free, don't fret, you'll just
spend a lot of time cutting down trees to supply the wood (you did just
purchase a ¼ section of forest, remember?). However, you will have to find
nails elsewhere.
Chains/Rope
You are going to need a lot of chain or rope. Chain is preferred, but if
it comes down to budget, rope will always be cheaper. One disadvantage of
rope is that the local squirrels/rats may eventually chew through it and
destroy your fortress.
Mountain Dew
Mountain Dew is as important for your thirst as it is to your image. I
would suggest purchasing at least 24 cans of mountain dew per person per
day. Buy this at your local wholesale retailer for around $8 for a flat of
24 cans. Thats $8 per person per day, believe me you'll thank me
later...
| Step 3
: Building your Fortress |
There are many ways that you could go about building your super-sky
fortress, and I don't want to be too specific or I risk interfering with
your creativity. If you have the room, however, I suggest building an ewok
village look-alike...
Building a fortress high in the trees in not as easy as you may think,
however. It takes a lot of hard work in order to create a safe living
environment when being suspended at such a height. This is where you must
get creative with you're wood and chain/rope. The following are a couple
of
pointers which will help you contruct your fortress:
- When attaching your fortress to a tree, keep in mind that only the
outtermost two inches of any tree is living. This is not a lie. Drilling a
spike all the way through a tree is not much worse on the tree than
drilling it
only 2 inches in.
- Bolts are better than nails, but more expensive.
If you are nervous about building your own sky-fortress or don't feel that
I have provided enough information on how to do so, please feel free to
visit the following links which provide information on building
tree houses, which is very similar:
TreeHouse
Contruction
Corbin's
Treehouse
TreeHouse
WorkShop <-- These guys will even build your fortress for you!
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