|
| |
RBlords Comics! RBlords Galleries What's an RBlord? Old Content |
|
| |
19th Street BBS |
|
| |
RB Goes Stile RB Goes EJ RB Goes Demoni.ca RB Goes Dog Pound |
|
| |
|
 | Sep 03, 2001 |
| |
If you're going to save the day, and you're hearing what I say, I fear your touch and kiss is not enough. And if you believe in me, don't think my heart's for free, I won't take nothing less than I give for love. Let me tell you, you, you know I need a miracle, I need a miracle. It's not physical, what I need to get me through. Tell me that you understand, and you'll take me as I am. You'll always be the one to give me everything. Just when I though no one cared, you're the answer to my prayers. You lift my spirits high, come one and rescue me. Let me tell you, You, you know I need a miracle, I need a miracle... It has been a long time coming. But I have brought to you an update. This update lacks the finesse of my previous work, but it cannot be helped. I am working under deplorable conditions. Due to my recent problems with the Sisters of Mercy machine's power supply failing, I am forced to correspond via Nicotrel. Nicotrel is like Alacatraz in a lot of ways, largely due to the hard consonants in the middle of the word. Enough about the electrical perils I have been facing, I have volumes of much more important matters to relate. ...the simple kinda life never did me no harm... Step back to the beginning of August. I commence my two week, plus one day, leave of absence from my workplace. It felt good to leave behind the high decibel levels of the press-room for the higher decibel levels that spring forth from my Camaro's Mills-spec Stereo system. At first, my retreat left me feeling disappointed due to the Leoville Rodeo trip being canceled, due to YC's illness, and other complications. I did not hold it against YC, and made the best of the time available. Simply put, I engaged in nothing. I relaxed, and unwound. During this time, The Humphries Mafia presented me with the gift of a 15 man bench seat for my back yard. I thank them to this day. I enjoyed the first phase of my vacation. However, the time to travel to Goodspirit lake was fast approaching. ...look at the stars, look how they shine for you... Thursday morning I packed my 74 Camaro with my supplies, as well as my sister and we traveled the three hour trek east on Highway 5, finally arriving in Canora, Saskatchewan at about three in the afternoon. I was very pleased that my Camaro made the journey on twenty dollars of gasoline, after all, it does have a boss 350 under the hood. It was a very undemanding experience at the lake. I visited with my relatives, and enjoyed the slow time. I spent a fair amount of my days getting better acquainted with my car. I cleaned it, and washed it. I spent time polishing and de-greasing. I bought Scooby-Doo shoulder protectors. I bought a stock air cleaner housing for it and painted it "raver orange." I also ran some shiny silver ducting from the snorkel to the grill so that my Camaro could taste some cold air. I even changed my spark plugs. I visited with my Godfather, which was swell. I got to see Bobbi-Jo, my Godfathers daughter, whom I hadn't seen for a great number of years. It was really nice to see her and her children. She has a wonderful, one year old, baby girl named Julia who insisted wearing my Bronco's hat backwards, just like I do. I can tell that she will be a very cool girl. There was a massive feast at Wong's Cafe on Saturday, and on Sunday, Chest (Clayton Busby) and Dawn came and visited me for the day. We had quite the adventure launching Chest's boat at George's Beach. It cost him Two Dollars to use George's Boat Launch. Due to the shallow water that this years lack of precipitation has yielded, Chest had to navigate a very difficult channel, with only the instructions George gave him to help: "Up, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, Boat Start." Other than the brief visit from Chest, I spent most of my time on my own. Each night I would wander down to the beach and watch the meteor shower. The sky was absolutely transcendent. I could see tens of thousands of stars. The milky way was visible. And the shooting stars were magnificent. I made many wishes that perhaps I shouldn't have. No matter, wishing never does any good. But I still enjoyed the spectacle. I find that I spend a lot of time by myself in places like that. I need the time to think, to search for answers to questions that I cannot ask anyone else. Sometimes I reach a moment of clarity, and I become enlightened to some fact that I wish to understand. I usually do not like the answers that come to me, and quite often am left wondering how it is that I could suddenly know what is going on, but I never question such revelations, for they are never wrong. I had previously decided to leave Tuesday morning, but changed my plans when I found out that Dog Pound would not be joining me, due to a work related conflict of interest. It was, perhaps, a good decision. ...where do we go now? where do we go? Where do we go now? Where do we go now? Where do we go now... Tuesday night I was standing on the beach, as I had done every night before. I was smoking a cigarette, and staring at the stars. I was reflecting upon the summer, and all that it had wrought. The main topic spinning in my mind was, of course, girls. I was feeling especially lonely that night, and was rememering all the fun that I had at Emerald Lake in June. I was wondering how many years would pass before I would meet someone interesting again. This time, there was no preminition imposed on me. But soon I would learn the answer was about ten minutes. I went for a walk up the road and was soon invited to a small party. I met some interesting people there. One was a special girl named Tiffany. It is not every day that someone meets a pretty girl who apprecitates GNR, Camaros, and Rye Whiskey. Although it is doubtful that I will see her anytime soon, if ever, I will never forget her. The next morning I stowed my gear and headed home. ...fuckin' up my whole life. So I'm on my way, I leave today, if I get away, then it will be OK... I would like to, at this time, inject a small story into this August Epic. I promised Chest a while back that I would talk about football for a while. So I shall. They say football is a game of inches. And truly, it can be. Two teams train hard everyday, and work to exhaustion, sometimes ending careers, for a few inches. Perhaps the worst thing that I have ever seen in football is when one team runs the clock out. Think about this: Two teams, we will call them the Spartans and the Titans, are playing a game. Going into the game, the Spartans knew that the Titans were a superior team, but they trained hard, knowing upsets can happen. Their coach told them they have to want it. That they have to want it more than the other team. Flash forward. There is a minute and a half left in the Fourth Quarter, and the Titans have possession. The Spartans played the best game they have ever played in the history of the franchise, but are still down by 21 points. Neither team has any time outs remaining. The Spartans know that they are going to loose. They not only have to regain possession, but score three touchdowns in a minute and a half. That means getting the ball, and executing two onside kicks, with no room for error. Nearly impossible. What makes this feat more impossible is that the linemen have to reach the Titan's QB before he can ground the ball. Every player lines up on the scrimmage line and sets up for the impending rush. Some players are simply going through the motions, knowing that it is only a matter of time before the end of the game, while others still want it. The center snaps the ball to the QB and the Spartans surge forward. Every muscle straining as hard as it ever has. The heart pumping, the mind willing, and every second of a lifetime of conditioning and training is channelled into one instance, but before one foot is in front of the other, the QB has grounded the ball. Now they have to stand around while the Titans run down the play clock. Second down and everything repeats. Some players keep telling themselves that they can get to the ball in time. But they do not. And soon enough, the game is over. There is no climatic final play. There are no heros. Only a team that was outgunned to begin with, left to hopelessly watch as the final thirty seconds roll off the clock, while the Titans organization wanders the field, congratulating each other on a victory they knew they had to begin with. In that time, it sure sucks to be a Spartan. That is pretty much all that I want to say about football right now. In the still of the night, I hear the wolf howl honey... And then Jet D stepped forth and said: "Let there be Tub 2001." I think that this years annual hot tub extravaganza was the largest in history. I have to say that I found this to be the most stressful party I have ever thrown. Not that I am complaining, for the annual hot tub party is a labour of love, but it was very hard to deal with the estimated combined head count of 200 people from the four nights. For those who are gawking, I have counted each person once for each night they attended. And then there were the gate crashers that needed evicting friday night. Special thanks to the Holowaty's, specifically Tyler's Cousin's friend, for sending all of Rylie's to my yard. Thursday night was an intersting start up to the party, with Chest Busby's naked ass invading my house. Not to mention naked Dog Pound and naked Crystal Bideaux. Besides the gate crashers, Friday was a pretty good night. I met an amazing girl who I hope that I will see again, but every day doubt it more. I doubt I will forget her anytime soon, though. Saturday night was less chaotic than Friday, no gate crashers, only police. The cops came to my yard, shone their spot light right on Chest's naked... chest, and promptly left with little said. Key moment: remembing to take Dawn's panties off of my head before speaking with the police. Special thanks to the Holowaty's for bringing four 14 year old girls to my house at 4:30 in the morning. When Sunday night arrived, I breathed a sigh of relief. At every year's hot tub party, Sunday is my night to relax. It is a much quieter party, with only a few close friends. We listened to music and drank very lightly. Special thanks to the Holowaty's for bringing a drunk 17 year old girl that they found and drugged up with mushrooms. Actually, she was very nice, and, to tell the truth, I felt a little sorry for her, on account of how hard the younger Holowaty's were hitting on her. She didn't seem too interested, but was no doubt thinking, "I'm drunk, I'm stoned, and these guys are my ride home." She did all right. ...I can feel it, coming in the air tonight, oh no... And so I found myself with my holidays drawing to an end. I spent Monday cleaning the yard and preparing the tub for pick up. I couldn't help but take some solace in the knowledge that I could finally rest. The whole summer had been very enjoyable, and very busy, but I was lacking my inner peace. Tuesday night I regained my inner strength and confidence when I succesfully tested for the rank of 5th gup. I spent the rest of the week in quiet meditation. Motorin' What's your price for flight? In finding Mister Right? You'll be all right tonight. The following Friday, a special trek was made to Joe's Cabins, situated on notorious Candle Lake. With every visit, Candle Lake has tried to claim a victim from our fold. Some may remember when the tree fell on Dog Pound, as well, there was the year when Chest almost drowned pursuing his dingy. This year was no exception to the rule, as there was another near loss. Friday morning, a jovial bunch of us were traveling north. Chest, Dawn, myself, Dog Pound, and most noteworthy, Erin Winkler, made the journey in the trusty 65 Bel Air. YC and Vance arrived much later in the Supra. YC learned that day that it is not as easy to find Candle Lake as he may have thought. Of course, all of us were excited that Erin joined us. She made the commute from Cow Town especially to join us that weekend. Thank you, Erin. When we arrived, we discovered, much to our delight, that we were staying in a gigantic barn like structure with two floors, and a balcony with an excellent view of the lake. There was much insane boating on the rough waters. Erin proved that she can handle a sea bisquit like nobody's business. But, if you think that is impressive, you should see her with Limp Bizkit. Saturday, we almost lost the Bel Air to the lake when the parking pin gave out, causing the car to roll into the lake, deep enough to fill the back seat and trunk with water. YC bravely saved the classic machine. We had fun singing Kareoke and playing with fireworks. Everyone eventually ended up in bed with Dawn. I served a glorious Ukrainian lunch, and we played great Ukrainian card games. In conclusion, we all had a great time almost burning Joe's Cabins down. And that brings this update nearly to an end. I have only a few more things I wish to mention at this time. Jet D's Top Six Songs of Summer 2001:
| |||
| Jul 28, 2001 |
| |
So this isn't a full update, but I am doing my best. :( First off, my power supply is cooked, so consequently I cannot access my really really good files. I am making this update at Spitfires house. He left his door open, and I let myself in. So what is new? YC is fast. His Chevelle is even faster, running a stunning 12.7 at the track on Friday. He took my for a ride, and it was really exciting. Especially because he is cute. Hahaha, kidding, I am not gay. But my friend, Marty, is, and he says Chris is cute, so I am taking his word for it. YC4 KING! I spotted Deana (?) in the train yard today. She was running across the 108 and I waved at her as I drove by. She waved back. I also saw the American Badger today at the Saskatoon Zoo and Forestry Farm. I went there today with Fredish and Graeme, and we had a picnic. That was nice. It made me happy :) This week in Hague, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers will be playing at the Hague Amphitheater. Seating is limited, so make sure you get tickets now. On Wednesday, there will be dinner with Tom Petty, at the Hague Coca-Cola Diner. Fans will be able to eat hamburgers with Tom Petty, and there will be photo opportunities. Thursday Afternoon, before the concert, fans will have a chance to visit with Tom more personally. For five dollars, fans can have Tom Petty ride with them in their truck so they can take him to see their farm. All proceeds go to the Hague Center for Narcolepsy. If any one has seen my wife would you tell her that I miss her and that I am sorry? I suppose this update would not be complete without a Heather Poem, so here it is: Heather and Eli Shag Shag Shag Giggle Giggle Full Contact Tag What the Hell Does Jason Think he's Doing? 
HEY OWEN, NICE FUCKING HAIR! | |||
| Jul 17, 2001 |
| |
Your love it feels so good. And that's what takes me high, Higher than I've been before. Your love, it keeps me alive. Thought I should let you know, That your touch, it means so much. When I'm alone at night, It's you I'm always thinking of. Sonique --It Feels So Good | |||
| Jul 16, 2001 |
| |
| |||
| Jul 15, 2001 |
| |||||||||
Good evening, this is weekend update, and I am your host, Soul D. Our top story tonight:
Friday the 13th yields no Fatalities. Friday the 13th, Spitfire took Blue4130, Unit3, and Jet D out to an abandoned summercamp to spend the night and probably the rest of eternity. However, as scary as the lake was with the Blair Witch monuments and the blood, and the beavers, no one was killed. Everyone was simply eaten alive by Moquitoes. No one slept much that night. The highlight of the trip may have been the fireworks show put on with the wares of the wakaw esso, or it may be the dump unit3 took in the woods. Overall, it was a worthwile experience for everyone involved. Young Chris Breaks into 12 Seconds. YC's monster chevelle has been reported to have produced a 12.7 second quartermile at SIR on friday. Audiophile witnessed the event, and openely wept when the A-Body rocketed down the track in a cloud of smoke and hope. 
Here are the three questions that will be answered today: The Question: How did you like Pike Lake? The Answers:
The Question: Who is Darren Mill's and what is he really doing here? The Answers:
The Question: Upon his election to King, What is the first thing YC should do? The Answers:
Part of the Summer Survey was a question asking for a picture of what Jet D's Camaro should look like when it is done. Move your mouse over the picture to reveal the artist's identity. 
The Commitee responds:
Note: The opinions of Kid Rock, Sean Connery, Jet D, and Jon Voigt are not necessarily the opinions of Rblords.com, the CEO and shareholders of Rblords.com, or the ISP providing net access for Rblords.com. Rblords.com accepts no liability in whole or in part for the opinions of the above stated. In fact, those responsible for the hiring of the committee have been sacked. Mr. Reynolds has also been sacked. Those responsible for the sacking of Mr. Reynolds have been Rowshamboed. Mr. Reynolds would like to thank the following people who did not sack him: "Check out Steven's Back." THE HEATHER POEM Heather dances in the bar, Heather drives in her car, Heather throws shotputs very far, BUT WHY THE HELL WON'T SHE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!?!?!? Bryce Sasko's hot or not rating at publishing time: 8.4 Nokia Cell Phone $25 OBO 
Nokia Cell Phone, good condition All resonable offers considered. Seller agrees to pay shipping. (306) 230-6173 Cellular Phone may not be exactly as pictured 
Well, that's the news and I have to work off a hangover. Graeme is gay. | |||||||||||
Kid Rock:
Sean Connery:
Jet D:
Jon Voigt:
The Jet D Weekly:
I am so very glad right now that I have returned Sean Connery's Penis Mightier.
| Jul 02, 2001 |
| |
This is a suppliomental update. Due to technical difficulties I was unable to post one of Darren's answers to the survey questions. Here is his explaination of the picture "sunsets." See the weekend update below to view the picture. Darren: This picture is a love story in itself. I can see the feeling the artist had poured into this emotional masterpiece. If you read between the lines and pay close attention to the details the artist has included in this genius painting, you will see that in the sunset, Jet D was clearly thinking of one thing..Dea. But as you can see, the sun is conflicting in great contrast with the water, which once again is a representation of it's own, that being Fred. The battle of color depicted in this painting leads me to believe that the sun and water are fighting to be as one. Jet D added this duel of color to depict his plethora of desires for these two women. On one hand he wants Dea and Fred to fight for the fruits of the Anaconda, but on the other hand he promotes peace and love in which case the duel of color also promotes lesbian activity. I get goosebumps even thinking of the emotion that flow from the hands of the artist. And finally, when attention is paid to the look on Jet D's face in the painting you can see his confusion. This depiction in so clear, it's as if he'd wrote the words in a thought bubble over his head. "Man, lets go to Macs" | |||
| Jun 30, 2001 |
| |||||||||||
Good evening, this is weekend update, and I am your host, Soul D. Our top story tonight:
Abby has a Birthday. Tonight, at the Odeon, many people will be filing in the great doors to wish Abby a happy birthday. It is rumored that Jet D will be in attendance, as well as Chest Busby, Blue 4130, and the Notorious SGP. Rumors have been pouring in all day as to what will be happening at the bar tonight, but experts claim there will be dancing and drinking. "It is simply the most logical answer," Says Burt Reynolds, "as the Odeon is a night Club, for danceing and drinking. I completely dismiss the rumors that there will be man on man castration and log cutting constests. There simply are no grounds to support these theroies." HEATHER, THE TRULY GREAT! Heather is a boss girl. She is probably not from Moose Jaw. But if she is I will hurl. Because that is the law.
Here are the three questions that will be answered today: The Question: Kerri Henry: Evil Queen or Love Machine? The Answers:
The Question: Respond to the following statement: Cool chicks dig Darude. (short answer) The Answers:
The Question: What is the meaning behind the pictured labeled Sunsets? 
Sunsets. The Answers:
The Commitee responds:
Note: The opinions of Kid Rock, Sean Connery, Jet D, and Jon Voigt are not necessarily the opinions of Rblords.com, the CEO and shareholders of Rblords.com, or the ISP providing net access for Rblords.com. Rblords.com accepts no liability in whole or in part for the opinions of the above stated. In fact, those responsible for the hiring of the committee have been sacked. Mr. Reynolds has also been sacked. Those responsible for the sacking of Mr. Reynolds have been Rowshamboed. Mr. Reynolds would like to thank the following people who did not sack him: "Check out Steven's Back." 4th of July Party to take place at Jet D's. This week, come celebrate American Independence at Jet D's place. There will be fireworks, loud music, and Miller Genuine Draft. Feel free to bring your own agression!
Bryce Sasko's hot or not rating at publishing time: 8.4 Nokia Cell Phone $25 OBO
Nokia Cell Phone, good condition All resonable offers considered. Seller agrees to pay shipping. (306) 230-6173 Cellular Phone may not be exactly as pictured 
Well, that's the news and I have get down to The Odeon. Graeme is gay. | |||||||||||||
| * |  |