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 | Jan 30, 2002 | Spitfire  | 
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Sorry for the wait here....busy working on a new site layout (truthfully). But to keep Doc Razor in order I
promised to post the content he sent me a few days back....
The content comes in the form of a song. I would like to draw Unit3's attention to this beautiful piece,
as I told him to watch for it awhile back...so here it is. The Song is entitled "Every OS Sucks", by
"by 3 Dead Trolls in a Baggie". It's a great geek song for anyone
who has been into computers since the 80s (or longer)...or even if you weren't. If you've never heard of a computer then don't bother. Otherwise, have a listen!
While I'm here I'd might as well spit out some other useless crap...like this site, and this site.
Go on, check them out...you just know that if I link to them, they MUST be interesting. Make sure to scroll down and read all of both pages....
So hang on tight, I'll be back with a bigger, better rblords in no time (ie. months). A note to mrp - I think I've waited a substantial amount of time to see a new update on
your site...snap to it! Oh well, _SPACE_ and Unit3 have been updating their sites constantly lately, so go there if you need some more good reading.
But for now I'm going to leave you with another great nugget of celebrity advice:
"My only complaint about having a father in fashion is that every time I'm about to go to bed with a guy I have to look at my dad's name all over his underwear."
- Marci Klein
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| Jan 28, 2002 | Audiophile |
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Hello everyone, and welcome to the newest installation of the Rblords update (on it's 5th wind, but not yet on it's last leg). There have been a number of developments over the past few weeks that I feel everyone might like to hear about. First off the annual Holocaust, aka Holopalooza 2002 took place last Saturday evening. Appearences from the newly formed Bastard Machine and a special guest appearence from Fuckface with their chart topping hit "Fuck" riled the under aged crowd at Holopalooza.
Other guests such as the lonely ravers, super sexy lezbian, sheman turntabler, and Jo Jo the turned down-half upset-well bodied stray joined the party. It was not complete with a lot of extremely loud music, tons of loitering and destruction, an out of control smoke machine, and ultimately a visit from the Saskatoon Fire Department (thanks boys).
With the winter season in Saskatchewan comes the crazy ass freezing cold weather, and with that comes supreme sickness. One of which my body decided not to repel, I have been out of comission for several days because of the flu; many others are also just getting over. All things exciting seem to come to a standstill when old bastard winter comes to town, everyone stays home and falls into a deep depression (This is why I've decided to warm the hearts and souls of those people experiencing the winter blues with a collection of wonderful pictures I've found floating around the Internet).
With winter in full force, thoughts of summer are becoming very prominent in the minds of friends and family. In the past week I have heard our annual may long weekend Pike Lake extravaganza mentioned on three different occasions. This year everyone has made a non verbal agreement to use absolutely no scruples when in pursuit of members of the opposite sex. This should prove to be a very interesting and successful event for many this year.
Rblords unofficially heard that Jet D is now attending University to unofficially receive his doctorate in martial arts "single blow" death moves..... unofficially of course. Also joining him is Dog Pound who is attempting to receive a masters in making babies, and trailing behind in the game of education is myself attempting to complete grade twelve before I turn 30.
As many of you may already know Spitfire has been spending much of his time watching the market for a house where he can begin the next segway of his life as an independant man with an excuse to create offspring and store appliances on the lawn. Recently he has been on the look out for more of a peaceful and remote location like an acreage where he can shoot his guns in the morning without hitting innocent bystandards and let Dog Pound park his acumulation of american muscle cars.
That concludes this update, stay tuned for more!
Have a good week and enjoy.............Toodles!
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| Jan 22, 2002 | Spitfire |
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(sigh), well....thank you Audiophile for the enlightening update :)
What's this? Updating twice in one week? Thats right! I've got some more Sh!t to shove down your throat, and you're gonna take it like a good reader should! Lets start, for example, with
a discussion of just how incredibly cold Saskatchewan can be...well...today was the first day that I actually slapped on my headband to protect my ears from the sharp, icey fingers of this
stupid cold winter (okay, its been pretty nice up until now...but still). Interested in a second opinion, I promptly email JayB to ask him exactly what he thought of the weather...his response was a resounding "ITS FUCKING COLD". I concur.
Now that I'm finally warmed up, I've got some more mindless dribble to pack in. Like what? Well....ever wonder why Britney Spear's breasts change size and shape every
time you see her? Well although this has never occured to yours truley, somebody else has apparently been losing sleep over it...and he has compiled this flash video
to bring forth the scandal.
Wow, I just realized that a great deal of the content on this page lately has had a direct relation to breasts. Well...can't hurt to add another.
Alright, alright, enough with that for awhile....hmmmmmm.....
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For those of you who like watching stupid-dangerous motorcycle tricks, have a peek at these videos:
[1]
[2]
[3]
Well those should take you awhile to download, but let me tell you - they're well worth it. There's just something about watching other people endanger their lives that makes you want to laugh a good, hearty laugh. As if you were actually there yourself
participating in the magic of these wonderous occasions. Enough to make DP punch himself in the nuts!
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Note to _SPACE_ : | | Thank you for mentioning me on your site. And yes, I do want you to start making up things about me...now that I'm not the most popular person on the internet anymore, I could use the attention.
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Anyhow, since the internet sucks so bad these days (come on! Snap to it, soul_d!), I'm going to make this short and leave you with a little nugget of advice:
"In our family, the rule was, never keep a soda can between your legs when you're in the car. My father told us this wicked story about a man who was driving with a can and between his legs and got into a bad car wreck. And pfffttt! He lost his Johnson. To this day, I cannot drive with a can between my legs. And I warn all my friends, too. I say, 'Don't do that man.' And they say, 'Why?' And I say: 'Because you could lose your uh-uh that way. I mean, seriously, man."
- Brad Pitt
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| Jan 06, 2002 | soul_d  |
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Memorable Quotes from Saturday Night
you don't get to know who said them, because you might tell Steven, and he doesn't get to know
"OH MAN! That girl has her hand on the other girl's boobie!"
"There's lots of lesbians here."
"Nathan, you are full of shit. I mean, I'm full of shit, but someday I aspire to be as completely full of shit as you are."
"So this is the Pat."
"In my chest beats a regulation size NFL football. My skin is covered with the chalk of the fifty yard line."
"Ok, next Saturday we have to go back to the Pat so I can wheel the beer tub girl."
DARREN MILLS HAD BETTER BE CLEAN.
"Oh my God! She is so hot! I can't even look at her, it hurts my eyes. It is like staring at the sun. That is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life!"
"She's not that great"
"Good, you stay away from her ... Oh crap. She has a boyfriend."
"Well, you win some, you lose some."
"The football has just been torn from my chest."
"I have ovaries. They're just undecended testes. I am glad I am fertile. Being barren is uncool."
"She's crazy. I mean, put it this way. I went to her place a while back, and you know, hung out and had some coffee. When I left, I forgot one my CD's that we were listen to. Instead of going back to get it, I decided to buy it again."
"Woah, I'm in love with that girl."
"What's she doing working at the 7-11?"
"Head like a hole, black as your soul, I'd rather die than give you control. FUCK YOU, ANTICHRIST. YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"
"Viking 2-6, this is Blue Velvet."
"Roger Blue Velvet, this is Viking 2-6. We are about 5 clicks your november, over ... Blue Velvet, this is Viking 2-6, we are under heavy fire, over"
"Viking 2-6, you're in the back seat of my car."
"Caution, Blue Velvet, your coming into a hot LB."
"Hey, check out GI Jane over there."
"Hey dude, she's setting us up with GI Jane."
"Oh no."
"I hate Charton Heston. You're going down, antichrist!"
"He was Moses."
"It's ok, I just got stopped by the cops last night."
"I love her, she's the reason I come here."
"Head like a hole, black as your soul, I'd rather die than give you control. FUCK YOU, BUSH. DON'T FUCK WITH MY CARIBOU, MY CARIBOU!!!"
Graeme is gay.
"If some guy tries to get in my pants, I'll bite his face off. I had a dream that I did that."
"RUN RUN RUN!"
"shit!!! fuck!!!"
"C'mon hurry, get in the car! get in the car!"
"she's gonna kill us! fuck!"
"GO GO GO!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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| Dec 17, 2001 | soul_d |
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I Heart Girls
I mostly just think about girls, so I thought I'd put up an Rblords update that reflects that sentiment. In this update you will find several girls that I am madly in love with. Each of these girls is a 10 on my list, so I decided to do some other rankings. You will find scores out of ten for each girl in three categories. Fun, depicting how enjoyable spending time with her would be, Problems, depicting how much inconvenience I would experience, and Pain, depicting how much injury and suffering I would sustain. If you can email me their names, you will win the prize. This week, the prize is Dog Pound's self respect. I apologize in advance for using the term PDA in this article. The first person to forgive me for it wins Dog Pound's Limp Bizkit CD. Also, you can email me telling me which girl you think would be the best choice for me, and why, and I will see about posting your comments in a future update.
Here is a list of previous contest winners:
- Dog Pound's Minidisc player was won by Darren Mills
- Dog Pound's computer speakers were won by Dog Pound
- Choice of one item from Dog Pound's Bedroom was won by Dog Pound
- Dog Pound's services as butler for a week was not won by anyone.
- Dog Pound's Aliens Special Edition DVD was won by Graeme Humphries
- Vance Lester's flat panel monitor was won by Graeme Humphries
- Everything Vance Lester owns was won by Graeme Humphries
Bryce Sasko is a short man that will fuck you up
Girl Number One
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Girl Number One is truly a princess. She is so hot. I think about her daily and nightly.
I think she'd like to go to parks with me and just kind of hang out. I think she'd want to talk my ear off, and that would be alright. She's probably pretty smart. I bet she'd like also like to make fun of other people with me. We'd go to Booster Juice lots and she'd call me dumb when I'd talk like Arnold Schwarzenegger .
The problem with dating this girl would be that the guy on the left would keep hassling us and calling me Wang Chung. He'd be mad because he's an asshole. He'd yell at me lots until I'd want to cry but wouldn't because I can't. Then he'd want to fight me. I think I can take him.
Fun Factor: 7
Problems: 4
Pain Factor: 3
Who'd be in charge?: She would.
PDA: 17A
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Girl Number Two
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Girl Number Two is an absolute angel. I heart her very much.
We'd drive around in my truck and listen to CJWW because that's all you can get on my radio. But that would be good enough because she'd know all the lyrics to every song Alabama ever wrote, and sing along all the time. We'd stop at Dairy Queen to get milkshakes, and then we'd sit around watching the cars go by. We'd also go on road trips often, to places like 39 mile junction and the Blacktop Diner, just for fun.
There's this rock star goblin that would be constantly sending me on a demon hell ride. He'd mess up my artwork in a big way. I'd always be having to figure out his tricks and deceptions. He's mad because the 70's are over, and nobody told him. I think I could kick his ass.
Fun Factor: 8
Problems: 7
Pain Factor: 3
Who'd be in charge?: I would.
PDA: PG
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CKB is the main man in the Hall. He's down with all the civic sweeties.
Girl Number Three
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Girl Number Three is amazing. She is very athletic, and full of energy.
We'd exercise lots and go do martial arts in the park. She'd probably really like my nunchaks. When we weren't working out, we'd be enjoying nature. We'd spend many summer days camping at lakes, and we spend many evenings at The Pat. She'd probably also have a great time coming with me visiting my many friends. I think she'd really enjoy Busby's Monaco Hell Ride.
This total goof ball would keep hasling me, and trying to kill me. He's mad because sunlight burns him. I'm pretty sure I can take him, but he can fly, which makes things harder.
Fun Factor: 9
Problems: 5
Pain Factor: 2
Who'd be in charge?: I would.
PDA: PG-13
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Girl Number Four
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Girl Number Four is a like a diamond. How her heart sings.
We'd spend lots of time walking. I think she'd really enjoy things like picnics and trips to the art gallery. She wouldn't talk very much about nothing in particular, but when she did talk, it would really count. She'd be the strong silent type, but when she gets angry, watch out! I think her and I would be a couple of raging alcoholics, because she'd really be into getting drunk and cutting loose, because she is so in control most of the time. Her and I would probably get into lots of trouble. But, with any luck, her dad is rich.
First off, this magical undead guy would be coming around and singing to me and making me see snakes. He's funny, but he's also a big asshole, and wears out his welcome fast. He's mad because he's dead. He'd also be hitting on my girl, so I'd have to kick his ass, and that shouldn't be too hard. The alien would be a nuisance, because it has acid for blood, and two mouths. The aliens are mad because they are ugly. These things are just plain rude, and would also be trying to eat us, and lay eggs in our mouths. This would make it hard to go anywhere and have a good time, due to a fear of dying. I'd have to fight them all the time. We'd be at the GNC so I could pick up some stuff, and then the alien would show up and tear the store apart. The alien would be hissing and drooling and swinging it's tail, and I'd look at it and say, "Fuck with me, and find out." And then we would battle. I think I could take the alien, but it would hideously scar me with it's acid blood and double mouth.
Fun Factor: 6
Problems: 10
Pain Factor: 25,000
Who'd be in charge?: She would, but it wouldn't look like it.
PDA: PG
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Girl Number Five
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Girl Number Five is what is right about America.
Her and I would go clubbing lots. We'd also drive around in my camaro looking for people that are playing football that I can challenge. Then we'd hustle them somehow. We'd make lots of money, and to impress her, I'd hire Guns N' Roses to come and put on a private show for us. I'd set up lots of drywall in my garage for them to break. She'd be so happy, she'd start to cry. Then we'd go get slurpees.
There's these two assholes that would keep showing up and putting me through tables when we were out dating. It would get to be very hard on my back. These guys are mad because they have the same mom, but different dads. I think I could take them.
Fun Factor: 7
Problems: 5
Pain Factor: 8
Who'd be in charge?: I would.
PDA: PG
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Girl Number Six
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Girl Number Six is a Dixie Land Delight.
Her and I would spend a lot of time on her uncle's farm, because that is where she likes to be. I'd also have fun there too. She'd get mad at me because I'd spend too much time ripping shit with her cousins instead of spending time with her, but I would just kiss her until she'd shut up, and then we'd go off-roading in her jeep. I think I'd take her to the long branch, because she likes country music.
This fat bastard with a big hat would be messing with me all the time. He's mad because he got fat. He'd have the GRC all over me. Lucky for me, the GRC would be dumber than normal, because he only hires really stupid people. I'd kick his ass.
Fun Factor: 8
Problems: 10
Pain Factor: 2
Who'd be in charge?: The Mopar.
PDA: PG-13
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It's a hard life living a lie. I HEART BOOBS AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!
Girl Number Seven
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Girl Number Seven is a totally rad girl
I think we'd be very active. We'd work out together, and then go out for Chinese food. I think she'd enjoy supporting me in my athletic endeavors, as I would certainly enjoy supporting her. We'd spend lots of time throwing things at cars from the overpass. I think she'd also like it when I'd sing pop music for her.
The Soviet Union. They'd be on me like giant bag of hammers. They'd be constantly trying to take her away form me, because they are communists. They're mad because McDonald's costs too much in their country. I'd have to fight them in many nations. I'm pretty sure that I can take the Soviet Union.
Fun Factor: 7
Problems: 6
Pain Factor: 4
Who'd be in charge?: I would.
PDA: PG
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Girl Number Eight
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Girl Number Eight is stellar!
I think girl number eight would be into partying down hard. I also think she'd like going bowling, which is good, because we'd be bowling lots. I think she'd like dining out often, and at different places. I think she'd enjoy just getting out in general, and having fun.
This Star Trek asshole, he'd always be beaming me away from her, and I'd have many hard journeys. He's mad because he never learnt how to read. He'd tell me that I'm illogical, and I'd tell him that "Mama said to knock you out." I think he'd probably use his phaser on me lots, because he is a prick. I could still kick his ass, though.
Fun Factor: 8
Problems: 5
Pain Factor: 4
Who'd be in charge?: She would.
PDA: PA-14
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HAIL TO THE KING, BABY!
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